History is only slightly rewritten: instead of experienced sailors, there are only convicts whose last and only meeting with H2O was their prison diet of bread and water. And Columbus doesn't have his own map; his map is a 1500 year old heirloom from the estate of Moishe the Navigator, a heretofore unknown sailor who made the first trip around the world in the year 207 BC. The only problem with this map, brought to him by Mort, one of Moishe's descendants, is that it's in Hebrew, a language that Chris doesn't speak, and certainly not the language of choice in Inquisition-ridden 15th Century Spain.

Jim Dale

Rik Mayall

Maureen Lipman

Alexei Sayle

Sara Crowe

Julian Clary